I hate laundry. Hate, hate, hate it. So much that I decided to vent about it on my blog that I haven't written on in 3 months. So you know I'm serious.
If it were just my laundry... no problem. I'd do it everyday. I'd even buy those fancy, expensive laundry soaps - you know, the ones called "Whispering Sweet Nothings Lavender" or "In Your Wildest Dreams Passionfruit". I might even fold piles by colors. Then I'd hang them nicely in my ever-spacious closet (hangers finger-spaced apart, of course). Then I'd smile a big smile and, in slow motion, fall into my freshly washed, overly fluffy bed linens. What?!? That's how the commercials do it.
Reality check: I have a husband and kids, who expect THEIR laundry done as well. The nerve! Which means that every time any one of them decides to put on so much as a sock, I have to wash it. No wait, first I have to tell them to get it off the floor and into the laundry room, then I sort it, then I throw it in the washer - oh back up, first I have to turn it right-side out - then throw it in the washer, then the dryer, then find it's mate to fold it with, then put it in a pile, then transfer to the correct room and then put away. Phew! I'm tired just writing about it. And that's just one sock. Now times that by, oh about 200 items, and there is my laundry day. Shoot me now! So, I've made some new laundry rules at my house... just because I can:
* If you turn it in inside out, you get it back inside out (that means you too, Steve).
* Socks that come to me in a ball will end up next to your toothbrush.
* Similarly, pants or shorts with belts still attached will end up in your sink!
* Kirkland brand detergent IS a real brand and yes, I will continue to buy it in bulk.
* Anyone over the age of 4 can put away their own clean clothes (well look at that... that's everyone in my family!)
* Anything with "skidmarks" now ends up in the garbage. I refuse!
* FHE just became FHE&L (i.e. Family Home Evening and Laundry). You know what they say, the family that works together... (okay, that's not really it but it should be!)
* That mildewy, moldy smell you might occasionally come across is just there to remind you of my love for you.
* Pajamas must be worn 100 times before washing. Okay, maybe 3 or 4 but definitely NOT just once!
* Similarly, church clothes worn for 3 hours where you do nothing but sit DO NOT need to be washed every time.
* Laundry day is: when I get to it.
* Sheets and towels will be washed on a need-to-wash basis. That is, when they stink enough.
* Laundry do-er (i.e. ME) should be thanked at least once each day for the never-ending, thankless task of cleaning every single item of clothing that belongs to every single member of this family. A simple, "Thanks, Mom" will do. A "Your the best, Mom" will earn you one free sock turned right-side out. I know, You're Welcome.
Okay, gotta return to my least favorite pastime. I'm on load 4 and just might be able to make it through all 6 loads (8 if you count the towels that are starting to grow fuzz) before Dancing With The Stars tonight :) And don't even get me started on the dishes!!!
