Today while I was at the gym, I was watching TV and saw that the popular book series, "Confessions of a Shopaholic" is being made into a movie. While I haven't read any of the books (has anyone read them? Are they worth reading?), it got me thinking... what would a book called "Confessions of a Crazed Housewife" read like???
We all do crazy things. You know, the kinds of things where you say to yourself that if anyone knew you did this you would probably just die of embarrassment. So, c'mon, let's get real (my motto)... let's just get it out in the open right here and right now (and I am fishing for lots of responses here... even if I don't know you). Think of it as cheap therapy - or maybe just a good laugh. Here, I'll start:
1. This morning after getting 2 kids off to school and husband off to work i crawled back in bed and went to sleep... til 9:30! The other two kids poured their own cereal ( I know because it was all over the counter) and watched PBS and did who knows what else... but, hey, they were alive when I woke up (never mind that they were also rollerblading on my hardwood floor). It was glorious!!
2. I lie to my husband about how often the dog poops and pees in the house.
3. Sometimes, a good 'ol Costco hot-dog really hits the spot! Just an added bonus to going to Costco anyway. I mean, where else can you spend hundreds of dollars and then feel like you got a good deal getting lunch for $1.50???
4. I secretly wish I were Kelly Ripa. She rocks!! (Mark Consuelos aint too shabby either!)
5. I sometimes steal my kids' giftcards (i.e. Target, Toys R Us, etc.). They have yet to notice!
Okay... your turn. We're all in this together, right (okay, that was admittedly HSM2 cliche). So let's hear it. How do YOU survive your day-to-day craziness? What do YOU do when no one is looking? What do YOU do when the "conflation" (that was for you Sarah, for definition see Jones Family blog) of being a wife, mom, taxi driver, laundress, cleaning lady, chef, doctor and so much more is just too, too much? And feel free to pass this on :)
p.s. let's just keep this on the down-low with the husbands. I'd like to continue #2 above for months, if not years.
8 comments:
Oh this is fun!
I ditto your Costco Hot Dog and Kelly Ripa. I LOVE Costco Dogs, but have kept it a secret because most people think I am disgusting, and I have always had a secret "crush" on Kelly. Here are my others:
#1 Sometimes I won't let Peanut have friends over during the afternoon because I am afraid it will interfere with my nap.
#2 I spend a lot more than what I tell my husband. This is on about everything groceries, clothes, bills. He wonders why we don't put as much in savings as we used to.
#3 I make Peanut clean the toilets because they gross me out.
#4 I pick out the snickers and the peanut M&M's out of my kids Easter and Halloween candy and then hide them so I won't have to share.
#5 I procrastinate everything, that is why my house hasn't been cleaned in about 3 weeks (except for the toilets, because my 6 year old is more responsible than me).
Too funny!! I also lie about how often the dog pees and poops in the house. I'm with ya on that one, sista'.
Yay on the new post. Love it!!! Here is my laundry list of things I do that Craig would die if he knew:
1. I eat lunch out almost everyday, but I use cash so he will never know.
2. I pay the bills so I can spend what I want and not have to explain the $400 Gap bill from last month.
3. I obsessively do laundry every day, all day. My dream is to have all of us in our bath robes and every item of clothing washed and put away. Weird, I know.
4. My house is immaculate ALWAYS, but my car is a trash pit ALWAYS! It drives Craig nuts.
5. I buy whatever I want at Walmart and claim it all as groceries. Love the one stop shop. I do the same with Target and say it was all diapers and food.
6. I am a total nazi when it comes to dessert and don't want my kids to eat any crap. However, when they are in bed, Craig and I pig out on ice cream, cookies, and whatever candy we can find.
So there you have it. I'm sure I could come up with a million more, but I can't reveal all my secrets.
I have read the entire series of Confessions of a Shopoholic. I love them!!! They all spoke to me in many ways. They basically validating the point that I am a true shopoholic and I need therapy.
This is a good one. I have to admit that I had much more to confess before I started this horrendous program which sucks every ounce of energy from my life. But I can still be bad. Sometimes I get sucked into completely inane Lifetime movies and even though I know exactly how it will turn out, (and that it is so, so stupid) I just can stop watching. AND I secretly love McDonalds and every now and then on my way home from class I run through the drive through. If I'm feeling very guilty I just get a hamburger happy meal, but If its been a particularly rough day...or if I'm feeling rebellious I get a Quarter Pounder with Cheese extra value meal. Sounds gross but tastes yummy! Really, most of my indescretions are food related. Hmmm. Wonder if that's why I've put on the pounds this semester? Depressing!
I guess I will comment since I have been guilted into it. J/K There are just so many confessions, I was worried it would take too long to right. But here goes-
1. I don't watch much TV during the day, but I do catch Days of Our lives daily. I have to know what Bo and Hope are up to.
2. I love to sneak to McDonalds during the afternoon and get 3 hot chocolate chip cookies and a Diet Coke. I don't want to share or talk to any kids, so I just tell them I am dropping something off at a friends house really quickly.
3. When my two little boys are strapped into their carseats, it just seems so much more pleasant. I don't feel the stress of holding Blake or getting Hayden his 1000th snack for the day. So occasionally I put them in the car and drive aimlessly. This is a really great idea with gas at $3.25a gallon. That is definitely one I don't want my husband to know about.
3. I waste a whole lot of time reading blogs of people that I don't even know. I also spend most of my day on the phone. I can justify this by multitasking and working while I talk.
I was just thinking of a clever way to use discourse or conflate, but apparently, I am not of the academia world as I could think of nothing.
While I was making dinner last night, I thought of this post, Aly, and thought -- this is the exact kind of confession I should post. So here I am. A lot of times when I am cooking, I am just too lazy to wash the produce. I know it sounds disgusting, but I use all organic stuff, so it's not like it is pesticidy or anything. I just hate having to wash and dry cilantro or parsley or other herbs that I am just chopping up and cooking anyway. Well, my husband is a total health/clean-a-phobe and is constantly walking through the kitchen saying things like, "Did you wash those? Did you wash that?" And I always roll my eyes at him and say "of course! who do you think I am?"
Also, I have come to the stark realization lately that my almost 17 month old baby has absolutely NO interest in the TV. when #1 was 17 months old, i would shelter her from the TV at all cost. With crazy, climbing, gets into absolutely EVERYTHING boy, I seriously sit with him on the couch and try to get him excited about DragonWorld. It doesn't work.
Just reread my comment and realized that I wrote right instead of write. I obviously shouldn't try to comment while hold a baby and switching the channels from Dora to Wonderpets!
I wish my kids were old enough I could leave them alone and go back to sleep lol! As it is sometimes I just lay in bed a little longer keeping an ear out to hear what messes they are getting into. I haven't tried the Cosco dogs, but wanted to when I was there the other day, $1.50 for a meal sounds like a great deal to me :) I lie to Hubby about how much housework I do while he's at work, then just blame the mess on the boys never giving me a break, instead of my lack of cleaning up after them. If I really tried to clean up after them all the time I wouldn't have time to be on here commenting lol.
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